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What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

13.06.2025 07:56

What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

What do you mean son?

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

What sexual experience did you have at a highway rest area?

What! how could you do that?

Do you know what she said mum?

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

Do you remember one day, you put a deep smile on someone's face and made them very happy?

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

I am skinny, I have been doing 100 pushups a day for more than a month and am seeing very few results, everything is so unfair, I workout more than anyone I know and am still skinny, why cant I build muscle?

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

Does turmeric help fight cancer? If so, how?

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

True - how I loved my mum!

How can a man clean his Soul?

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?